Have you ever had one of those days? You know the kind – where you spend your bus ride home from work planning all the things you’re going to get to that evening? You have it all worked out but then you get home and immediately start to make supper and all of a sudden both kids are in the kitchen demanding to know what’s for supper when you really haven’t even given it much thought, it’s still kind of an idea? And so you start sauteeing veggies and one of the boys says “oh it’s a stir fry” and the other one calls from the other room “awwww can we not have stir fry?” and you say “it’s not stir fry” and they say “well what is it?” and you mutter something about spaghetti squash and chick peas and they freak the fuck out saying “can’t we have something different?” and then you try to explain that you STILL aren’t exactly sure what you’re making and then the 13-year old gets all up in your grill about how HE is never consulted on dinner plans and WHY don’t you ever ask HIM what kinds of vegetables he wants and it’s not FAIR and it’s actually quite STUPID that they – the kids – never have a say in what’s for dinner? And then have you ever LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND ON THEM and told them to get out of your kitchen, that you are the one who makes dinner so YOU make the rules and that you have PLENTY OF TIMES asked what they would like to have for dinner but that kind of negotiation and consultation JUST DOES NOT FLY on a Tuesday night when there is a shitload of homework to be done plus trying to do everything else that you had planned? And has the 13-year old ever stormed off and continued to yell about HIS needs? While the 11-year old cries because he hates when there is yelling? And then after dinner – which, incidentally you changed in mid-creation JUST so there would be considerably less drama – have you ever spent over an hour looking for the rough copy of a mock theory exam that the 13-year old started to do last night and left it RIGHT HERE ON THE TABLE but no it is nowhere to be found but it’s soooo NOT his fault because he left it right there on the table, duh.
And have you ever decided at 8pm that you are absolutely NOT going to do all the things you had kind of planned – and even looked forward to doing – this evening? That what you’re actually going to do is purchase a bottle of wine and drink it while blogging about the shit that went down between the hours of 5pm and 7:30pm this evening?
Yeah. Me too.