Pressure

Oh yes, it’s building.  All I need to do is 9 more posts – well, 8 after this one I guess – and I am getting to the end of my ideas.  When I started posting every day, I was going along really well, with (mostly) interesting posts, many of them sitting in draft, awaiting the light of day, and it was great.  Now, thanks to the fact that I cannot seem to get a goddamned good night of sleep, no matter what I do, the well, she is running dry. 

Sleep.  I used to take it for granted, you know?  As you do when you’re young and healthy and childless and all that.  As the adult years creep in, bringing more responsibilities and stresses to life, sleep patterns change.  Now you do – or at least I did – spend some nights lying awake worrying about this and that – job, house, partner, money, ageing parents, all that.  And then, if you have children, there are more changes, more disruptions to the world of sleep.  For a few years, really.  And I look back on those years of sleepless nights with a sense of wonder.  Not as in the wonder that is my children, no.  More like it’s a fucking wonder I didn’t seriously harm someone or myself when I was spending months at a time going on less than 4 hours sleep each night. 

This year particularly has been a bad one for sleep.  So much shit going down, really since the beginning of the year, causing endless sleepless nights or fits of sleep interrupted by insanely disturbing dreams or aches and pains that lift me out of fitful sleep.  So even when I do manage to get a solid 6-7 hours?  I still feel like I’ve been hit by a truck in the mornings.

I think I need a vacation.

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